Stop Nagging me, Depression!

Does this nagging feeling ever go away?  It’s the, “Life is pretty good right now, but at any moment it could all slide down the rabbit hole again” feeling.  I mean, in the last week or so, I’ve only lost a couple of hours to hiding in my bedroom feeling pathetic.  Which seems like a miracle.  In fact, not only have I not been hiding in my room, but I’ve been enjoying the time spent outside of it.  A lot.  But there is this feeling that’s following me around like a shadow.  It’s always there and often nearly imperceptible, but nothing can coax it to leave.  No matter how much fun I have, I always wonder how long it will be before I’m back to being curled up under the covers wishing everything would just go away.  And so I repeat the question:  Does this nagging feeling ever go away?

26 and Still Depressed?

                Today I turned 26.  Without a Bachelor’s Degree.  Without even a major I’m sure of.  Without a full-time, year-round job.  Without an apartment or home of my own.  Without a boyfriend, much less a husband.  With severe depression.  With an increasingly serious anxiety disorder.  With strained relationships with my best friends.  With a lot of self-doubt. 

                But today I laughed a LOT.  And it was enough.