June 22, 2012

Stop Nagging me, Depression!


Does this nagging feeling ever go away?  It’s the, “Life is pretty good right now, but at any moment it could all slide down the rabbit hole again” feeling.  I mean, in the last week or so, I’ve only lost a couple of hours to hiding in my bedroom feeling pathetic.  Which seems like a miracle.  In fact, not only have I not been hiding in my room, but I’ve been enjoying the time spent outside of it.  A lot.  But there is this feeling that’s following me around like a shadow.  It’s always there and often nearly imperceptible, but nothing can coax it to leave.  No matter how much fun I have, I always wonder how long it will be before I’m back to being curled up under the covers wishing everything would just go away.  And so I repeat the question:  Does this nagging feeling ever go away?

5 comments:

  1. It's probably different for everyone, but for me the nagging feeling is always there. I know that even when I'm on the top of a happy cycle, I know it's only a matter of time before I fall down again.
    on the other hand, I try to remind myself that even when I hit bottom, I will always swing back up again.
    Just try to ignore the nagging and enjoy the good while it's with you. :)

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    1. The good is gone for now, but I try to hold onto the idea that I'll swing back up. I appreciate comments. It's nice not to be alone.

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  2. I agree with Karifur, but want to add... hang on, not "but" let's put an and in there instead.

    I agree with Karifur AND would like to add:
    Those of us gifted with that nagging sensation (I'd rather send it back, but who ever gave me the gift didn't keep the receipt) are pretty much stuck with management contingencies.

    I like to visualise, the times that I have found myself in a solid mid point. Happy-ish and content-ish then really mark that moment as an anchor point.

    Something to lob the life lines at when the river starts to flow hard and I suspect the delicate rumble I can hear will soon turn into a giant water fall with sharp bits and bitey things in it.

    The anchor point isn't limited to being somewhere out of reach. It kind of follows me about, all I need to do is remember to look for it.

    Hope you are doing okay.

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  3. Thank you. I like that idea. It may be awhile before I am back to an anchor point, or at least that's how it feels right now. But I'm trying to at least keep my head above water and swim away from the bitey waterfall.

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    1. Keep swimming - bitey waterfalls ...err... bite.

      Heh heh.

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Thank you for coming. I hope you get something out of this. I hope you learn about yourself. I hope you get help if you need it or give it if you can.