Medication Journey Update ~ Good News and Bad News

I got the results of my genetic tests, and unfortunately they were not particularly helpful.  The medications I was on were genetically compatible, as have been the two I've tried since.  Now let me stress that the genetic testing has been a God-send for a lot of people I know, so don't discount it.  It just happens not to have revealed any useful information in my case.  So here's the deal:

One of the medications I was on was causing the intense brain fog I was experiencing (complete inability to follow conversations, do basic math, etc.).  It is apparently a known side-effect, but my old doctor told me I probably just needed to sleep more.  Not cool, doc.  Moral #1:  Trust your instincts.  If what a doctor is telling you doesn't feel right, dig deeper.  Now that I'm off that medication, the brain fog is slowly dissipating.  

The other main medication I was on for my depression is known to cause anxiety and is a fairly wimpy antidepressant.  My new doctor said that she doesn't know why anyone prescribes it to people with anxiety.  Yes, this is anecdotal, but the same exact thing happened with the same exact drug to someone close to me, and her doctor told here the same thing.  Moral #2:  If you are taking Wellbutrin and experiencing a lot of anxiety, talk to your doctor (or maybe even find a new doctor).  I think I've had one anxiety attack in the 2+ months since I went off Wellbutrin, where I was experiencing 1-5 a WEEK on Wellbutrin.

All the medications I was going off and on two months ago in all their various doses

So there's the good news:  The challenging symptoms I was experiencing were caused by my medications, and now that I'm off those medications, those symptoms are largely subsiding.  (Now, I need to stress that these medications worked very well for me for several years.  They enabled me to finish my degree and do a lot of cool things.  But they eventually quit being effective.  Read here for more details.)

But that's where the good news ends.  I spent six weeks going off two medications and on a different one, but it didn't work.  Like I said, the problems I had been having subsided, but they were replaced by a deep apathy, one that made it hard to stay alive.  If breathing weren't autonomic, I swear I would have died because I just couldn't make myself do what I needed to.  It took me 45 minutes to eat a pancake because it just felt like too much work.  Obviously that was not the medication for me.

When I went back in to the doctor, it was honestly kind of discouraging to see her reaction.  She was expecting me to be doing better, but I had just made a sideways slide into a new awful, and she was kind of scrambling to find something else to try.  Well, I spent four more weeks going off one medication and onto another, and honestly?  I'm not doing any better.  I'm a little less apathetic, but it's a real struggle to perform basic functions because I just don't care.  I showered today and truly it had probably been over a week.  I racked my brain and couldn't figure out the last time I had showered.  And I only did it today because I told a friend it was my goal for the day.

Basically, I need to go back to the doctor.  But I don't have a lot of hope right now.  I don't know what the next step is.  I'm kind of afraid there isn't one, at least not a medication-related option.  But I'm going to call tomorrow (technically today since it's almost 5:00 am, but I haven't slept yet) and make an appointment.  Wish me luck.