Sometimes it hurts to be awake. To use my brain. To feel. I used to sleep it off. I used to sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. And sleep. Now I just stay awake. Even though I’m tired. No, I’m not tired. That’s not quite it. I’m… tired of hurting. But I just prolong it by staying up another hour. This can’t be healthy. Is it worse than cutting myself? Not worse. Is it any better? Probably not. Am I going to bed now? We’ll see.