April 10, 2013

Depressing, Hard Day

      Today I decided it was too much to get out of bed.  So I didn't.  When I finally did at 5pm, I ran into a friend in the parking lot who told me that his brother had just shot himself and was still alive but unlikely to make it.  Then I went to an early dinner with a friend who told me she had just been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  Then I got home and my friend texted me that his brother had just passed away.  And my heart broke.  So I went back to bed for a few hours.  Because it was a hard day before all the suffering.  It was a hard day on which I accomplished absolutely nothing I needed to do (which always makes hard days harder).  I don't even know why it was a hard day (before all the bad- I know why it was hard after that).  I have a lot to do and I've been stressed, but I still need to get out of bed.  Oh wait...  I have depression.  That's right.  Even when I'm feeling mostly awesome, I have bad days.  That is a fact of my life.  It's mostly fine.  I'm mostly fine.  Today was just mostly suck.  Until I finally peeled myself out of bed again to spend some time with a wonderful guy.  That was good.  Because I didn't want to get out of bed at all, but I did anyways.  And I felt a LOT better for awhile.  Now that I'm home again, my brain is feeling disjointed, much like this post.  But it's ok.  I think I'll be able to get out of bed tomorrow. 

RIP Luke.  My prayers are with you and your family.
Thank you for coming. I hope you get something out of this. I hope you learn about yourself. I hope you get help if you need it or give it if you can.