Does this nagging feeling ever go away? It’s the, “Life is pretty good right now, but at any moment it could all slide down the rabbit hole again” feeling. I mean, in the last week or so, I’ve only lost a couple of hours to hiding in my bedroom feeling pathetic. Which seems like a miracle. In fact, not only have I not been hiding in my room, but I’ve been enjoying the time spent outside of it. A lot. But there is this feeling that’s following me around like a shadow. It’s always there and often nearly imperceptible, but nothing can coax it to leave. No matter how much fun I have, I always wonder how long it will be before I’m back to being curled up under the covers wishing everything would just go away. And so I repeat the question: Does this nagging feeling ever go away?
June 1, 2012
Today I turned 26. Without a Bachelor’s Degree. Without even a major I’m sure of. Without a full-time, year-round job. Without an apartment or home of my own. Without a boyfriend, much less a husband. With severe depression. With an increasingly serious anxiety disorder. With strained relationships with my best friends. With a lot of self-doubt.
But today I laughed a LOT. And it was enough.
Posted by Ashleigh at 12:31 AM