I can feel it happening. I can feel myself breaking*. And I find myself wondering- What sort of a break are we in for this time? How bad will it be? How long will it last? How deep will it go? How much of me will crumble in around the sharply defined cracked edges? Can Humpty Dumpty be put back together again? And then my mind wanders off in another direction. Is it better to try and hold the edges together as I’m breaking? To try to minimize the damage? Or is it just better to let it go and save my effort for the putting it back together process? Because let’s face it- I have a finite amount of effort in this imperfect body of mine, and when it’s spent, it’s over. I’m done.
*I may not actually be breaking. I may just be getting over being sick and be terrified out of my mind that I won't be able to get back into the swing of life. Honestly, whether or not I make it to school tomorrow will be a big determining factor in whether or not I break. I've missed a week, though. So I'm scared.