February 8, 2015

Lucky, Blessed, and Depressed.

I have a pretty great life. I have an awesome family who gives me love and everything else I've ever needed. I have a couple of really cool horses who I've gotten to see grow up from being stubborn little colts to being stubborn big colts. I have amazing friends from all over the world. I've gotten to visit Europe and live in the Middle-East.  I have been on Good Morning America. I have been in the newspaper as recently as last week. I have gotten to meet my Hollywood heroes at incredibly fun Comic Con events. I even got to thank one of my biggest heroes (though she's actually quite short) in person for her mental health advocacy- she called me a member of her tribe, an honor I will always cherish. I have a good psychiatrist and an amazing therapist. And I have the support of a loving God. But I'm still sitting on the bathroom floor sobbing for absolutely no reason. I'm feeling really, really depressed again. It'll pass. It always does. But remember when you're looking at my life from the outside in and seeing all the fun I have, that what you aren't seeing is the girl on the bathroom floor. She is lucky and she is blessed. And she is also really, really depressed.


  1. I dont know how I found you but when I did a few weeks ago, I linked your post from last year to my new blog...I've been dealing with depression the last month and it's been tough...I was tired of pretending everything was "ok" and once I opened up about being sad and not feeling like my normal self, I have received so much support. I'm still crying at random times during the day-not as much so I think I'm slowly getting out of this funk. Someone can have everything in the world and still be depressed so please take care of that soul of yours and keep getting the help you need...from a new friend in Colorado...

    1. I'm so glad we're new friends!!! And I'm so glad you found my blog :) I went to my doctor and ended up adding a FIFTH medication to my super fun regimen. It's helping a lot. There have been some nasty, nasty side effects, but they're mostly wearing off. Even if they hadn't worn off, the depression is all but gone, so it would have been worth it (but only barely- the side effects were pretty bad!).

      I'm so glad you seem to be pulling out of it. Depression is HARD. Pulling out of it always seems a little surreal to me. I think I start feeling like life will always be that bad and forget that it's actually usually a lot better than bad.

      PS My notifications are somehow still going to my old email, so I didn't see your comment as soon as I usually do. I should fix that!


Thank you for coming. I hope you get something out of this. I hope you learn about yourself. I hope you get help if you need it or give it if you can.