February 28, 2012

McDonald's Kills Babies. Or rather, it DOESN'T ANYMORE!!!

Right now I'm too depressed to write about anything depressing, so I'm going to write about McDonald's.  Which isn't depressing at all unless you're a vegetarian.  Or just had the experience I had.

I went to McDonald's to buy myself a Happy Meal today and two horrible things happened.  I can't decide which was more horrible, so I will list them in chronological order, not order of horror. 

First, when I said I wanted a chicken nugget Happy Meal, the dude was like, for a boy?  And I was like, no it's for me and I'm a girl and I don't want your stupid build a bear I WANT A STAR WARS TOY!!!!!!  I am incredibly depressed that only little boys are being offered the Star Wars toys.  What kind of a world are we living in where they feel like they have to offer a "girl" toy when the other option is the awesomeness that is Star Wars.  Whatever kind of world it is, I'm not sure I want to be living here.  In MY world, all the little girls can have all the Star Wars toys they want.

Second, THEY REPLACED HALF MY FRIES WITH APPLE SLICES!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, I am yelling that.  In fury.  If I wanted to feed my hypothetical children a healthy meal, I would NOT be taking them to McDonald's.  Clearly, my intention is to feed them something so far from healthy it will clog their arteries by age 8.  THAT'S WHY I CAME TO MCDONALD'S, NOT MCHEALTHFOOD WORLD!!!  And since I don't actually have any children, hypothetical or otherwise, the actual meaning of this is that all I got to eat was seven french fries and I had to throw away a perfectly good bag of apple slices which I'm sure could have been better used somewhere else.  McDonald's, what. the. *insertyourfavoriteswearwordhere*. are you trying to do to me?????? 

Don't even get me started about how the chocolate milk was nonfat.

1 comment:

  1. Update: One of my friends is a college professor. He used this post in a lecture today. Perhaps I'll try to be funny more often...


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