April 4, 2012

Depression: A (Good) Day in the Life


                Today, I woke up an hour after I was supposed to.  But I’m going to focus on the fact that I didn’t sleep two more hours like I wanted to.
                Today I was ten minutes late to class.  But I’m going to focus on the fact that I went at all when I had to convince myself not to turn around and go home every step of the way across campus.
                Today I messed up on a test in my dance class.  But I’m going to focus on the fact that I showed up to class and took the test.
                Today I felt like I was on drugs all day because of the Nyquil I took last night.  But I’m going to focus on the fact that I slept better than I have in ages.
                Today I didn’t have any major breakthroughs with my therapist like I wanted.  But I’m going to focus on the fact that I didn’t have any major breakdowns either.
                Today the dinner I cooked for my roommates wasn’t as tasty as I wanted it to be.  But I’m going to focus on the fact that I made it instead of hiding in my room hating myself like I wanted to.
                Today I snapped at my roommates when they didn’t deserve it.  But I’m going to focus on the fact that I was able to interact with them at all.
                Today I ate too much junk food.  But I’m going to focus on the fact that I ate a well-balanced dinner, too.
                Today I didn’t go for a run.  But I’m going to focus on the fact that I worked out five of the last seven days.
                Today my niece cried when I held her.  But I’m going to focus on the fact that she smiled and laughed, too.
                Today I was depressed and had a crappy day.  But I’m going to focus on the fact that I didn’t focus on the crappy things, and if I do that, maybe I’ll be able to get out of bed tomorrow.

5 comments:

  1. This is brilliant, Ashleigh! I absolutely love it. :) It's so important to recognise our little victories, no matter how insignificant they might seem to another person. As you said, some days getting out of bed is the most we can do, when all we really want is to hide under the covers away from the world, and on those days, just getting up is an achievement that we should be really proud of.

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  2. Thank you so very much! I'm so grateful to be in a place (mentally) where I can start to recognize these little victories. Because sometimes I can't. And I'm just lucky I can today. See? Another little victory!

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    1. Yay! That's really great, and I hope it will last. :)

      Sorry I'm late getting back to you, by the way. I didn't realise you'd replied until I checked your blog again. I've replied to your post on mine too, just in case you missed it. Are you still up for sharing a bit about your experiences? It'd be awesome if you are. :)

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    2. I'd be happy to share something. You can just use one of my blog posts if you want... Or do you want me to write something new?

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    3. Hey. :) That'd be great. If there's a post on here that you feel really sums things up for you then let me know and we can use that, but if you have time I think it might be better to write something new, just to kind of summarise your experience. Completely up to you though.

      Sorry again for the late reply, I was expecting this thing to notify me when you wrote back but it didn't! Also so busy with uni work that I've barely had time to check it myself. Rubbish excuses, I know. Sorry.

      I guess you're at uni/college/whatever too? How's it going and what are you studying? :)

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Thank you for coming. I hope you get something out of this. I hope you learn about yourself. I hope you get help if you need it or give it if you can.