September 3, 2012

Learning to Live with my Depression

                Depression and I are trying to strike a balance.  I can’t go all out and get things done like I want to.  But depression can’t hold me down in the gutter like it wants to either.  Because I won’t let it.  Depression doesn’t want me to get out of bed.  I want to get out of bed and then go to class and then go shopping and then go to a party.  We compromised.  I made it to class.  Depression doesn’t want me to communicate with my best friends.  I want to skype with them for hours.  We compromised.  I sent some of them short facebook messages.  Depression doesn’t want me to do any homework.  I want to do the homework that has to be turned in and the optional readings and study extra.  We compromised.  I did the homework that had to be turned in. 
See, I’m learning that sometimes my “best” is less than I want it to be, but that doesn’t make it any less of a gigantic effort.  And it doesn’t make it any less acceptable.  So I’m trying to re-work my life.  Re-work my expectations.  Re-work… the way I work.  Am I giving in?  I don’t know.  But I know I’m not giving up.


  1. just found your blog, and I have to tell you, this post is really great. I know the feeling you're talking about.

    I think it's fine to compromise- it's okay to feel the depression, but you've got to keep going, right?

    thinking of you, at any rate. You sound awesome.

    1. Aw thank you so much! The Bloggess has inspired me to talk more openly about my struggles with anxiety and depression. It's so important not to be alone. It's helped me, anyways! So thanks for reading! I read some of your stuff, too, and laughed out loud!


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