*Tonight I'm working on another post in my random series about the light at the end and unicorns because I've been intensely depressed all day. But it's not ready yet, so instead I'm posting a rant from a couple of weeks ago.
Last night I took a big step. I decided that it was time for me to start playing Magic the Gathering. Just casually, mind you. Just for fun. I don’t intend to play competitively. But I AM a nerd (nerd… geek… whatever), and it sounded like a fun game. So a friend of mine came by and was teaching me how to play. We were battling and dueling and… See, I don’t even know the terminology yet. But I was learning, and we were having fun. And then my roommate and her friend came into the living room. And they started laughing. A mean laugh. And so I said, “I think you guys should just leave.” And they said, “Why?” And I said, “Because you’re being judgy and mean.” And then they tried to backpedal and pretend they were laughing at something else. But there was something about the tone of their laughter that hurt.
I am not one to hold a grudge. “Whatever” is kind of my motto in that department. But today I am still hurt. I am still angry. Now you see, I am lucky. As a nerd, I have never come up against that kind of judgment. I’ve always loved Star Wars. To a fairly ridiculous degree. And nobody has ever given me crap about it. I mean sure, there have been eye-rolls, but they have primarily been loving eye-rolls. But now I’m starting to understand why nerds hide. Why they don’t flaunt their passions. Why they go to Comicon to spend time with like-minded people. It’s because people are MEAN.
If I wanted to, I could blast that roommate. Her interests boggle my mind. Her friendships boggle my mind. Her hobbies boggle my mind. I don’t understand what makes her tick. She’s fairly immature. But that’s ok. She is who she is, and it doesn’t bother me! As long as she doesn’t try to force me to like the same things and do the same things, I couldn’t care less what her interests are. And I think that’s how it should be. And because she is immature, I will eventually let it roll off my back. But for now, I am still hurt.