November 11, 2012

Owning My Depression like Carrie Fisher

                So, sometimes I get obsessed.  It’s a geek thing.  I go through phases.  This summer it was Stargate.  Earlier this school year, it was Farscape.  Now it’s Star Wars.  Now, at any given time, I still love all of these things.  It’s just that I can’t be actively obsessed with all of them at once.  So I have taken to pinning things on my Star Wars Pintrest Board and watching Carrie Fisher videos on YouTube.  Carrie Fisher was diagnosed as bipolar at the age of 24.  And that was back in the day when they couldn’t even really help you with crap like that.  But now, she owns it.  She talks about it openly.  And I think it will help people.  She says of her mental illness, “If you can claim something, it has far less power over you.”  Someday I hope I can own my mental illness like she owns hers.  She says, "If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true. And that's unacceptable."  And you know what?  I think I might be able to get to that point someday.  I might be able to look at it as funny.  A little.  Someday.  In closing, here’s an apt description of living with mental illness:  “Imagine having a mood system that functions essentially like weather- independently of whatever’s going on in your life. So the facts of your life remain the same, just the emotional fiction that you’re responding to differs.”  My emotional fiction is depressed tonight.  But the fact that I have a great life will remain the same.

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Thank you for coming. I hope you get something out of this. I hope you learn about yourself. I hope you get help if you need it or give it if you can.